Though we have not (yet) come to an age where you can eat and read a newspaper, both are ancient in existence and with the same price tag they are eternally battling for the Queen's nose.
Engulfed by its adolescent audience, the Mars strikes an expressionless pose to the photographers whilst its competitor waits edgily on canvas.
The tabloid edges popularity in the U with 3 million copies sold daily, while Mars is universally admired, with a $ 18 billion in 65 countries Empire.
Undoubtedly the Mars has spent much of that money on aiding its brothers and sisters - Mars Snack Size, Mars Delight, Mars Duo whilst The Sun has also spawned a number of siblings in Sun Bingo and SunSingles.
In fact, this game easily could have been a tag-team affair, but with only one participant per team tonight there will be no interference.
No doubt both corners are riding on the outcome of the contest; with the Mars going in as the slight favorite.
Of course, with the ability to temporary hunger, the alleged contents of " deal to keep the doctor away " and Mars is a layer of caramel was the popular choice.
Nevertheless in a bold move this week, The Sun has come out this by publishing its adversary's weaknesses.
Having a considerable amount of acne the chocolate is hardly a pin-up either, and with reporter's suggesting disfiguration if the temperature rises above 40°C the Mars could already be looking down for the count.
In fact where the Mars Bar is already filled with partially hydrated soybean oil, The Sun looks to distract its opponents.
The tabloid able to inform, humor and persuade its opponent into submission will only want to avoid the inevitable barrage of beverages (and criticism) from the spectators.
The Sun starts intimidating its opponent by forecasting tomorrow's front page edition - "Mars Munches Defeat".
Chocolate instinctively tries, the first blow of the game country, but almost immediately the tabloids expected to be counterproductive crime.
Rapping around its opponent like a boa constrictor The Sun has quite literally tightened his grip upon the match.
The Mars looking down for the Count So Com is immobile waiting eagerly awaiting the bell.
This match could be over in a matter of moments - The Mars not the most flexible of competitors unlike perhaps bubble game or candy floss - is trying to squirm its way out but The Sun is having none of it.
Thirty seconds left, and it seems as if the cash sale is based on the date of this Mars is low.
And there it is! The Mars has fallen! The Mars has fallen! The fickle figure falls whilst The Sun returns to its true A4 layout and waits for the ref to count to ten.
nine.
He knows that with this unanimous, undisputed and unsurpassable victory, that the tabloid has earned at least some respectability.
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